Doctors

This was ported from my old blog. It’s probably a mess. It’s a rite of passge for teenagers to be cajoled by their parents into considering medicine as a career. It’s a pretty solid argument from their point of view. You get to be a young George Clooney, running around and saving lives with a healthy paycheck. They get to brag that “My child saves lives,” and throw around the d-word over dinner parties. Seems like a win-win, right? (Just remember, it’s all aabout the parents.)

I’ve spent a little too much time lately in hospitals. Nothing serious at all, promise. But, amongst all of the reasons I can think of to not go into medicine, I think hospitals alone are the reason I could never become a doctor.

  1. Waiting Music For such calm music, it’s surprisingly aggressive. If somebody keeps telling you to calm down, it’s more agitating than anything.

  2. PA System I don’t know what a Code Blue is, but there was at least four of them throughout the day. Downtown Detroit may be undergoing quarantine. I really don’t know.

  3. Local Anathestic Surgery isn’t fun. Especially when you have to be awake during it. Local anathestic simplifies surgeries immensely and I’m grateful for it. But, it’s terrifying when you have to lay down on a table below the lights of heaven. You’re completely aware of every move that the surgeon is making and you just have to run with it. The actual process of surgery is something that only surgeons want to know the details of - hence the reason they went to medical school. I don’t want to know about where the incesion is going to be. I just want to be watching Netflix after it’s all done.

  4. Paperwork I’ve seen smaller textbooks than the paperwork necessary to walk into a waiting room. I may have adopted a child overseas and altered my will while trying to get to my follow-up appointment.

  5. Fluorescent Lighting It’s affordable. That’s great for the bottom-line. It also induces migraines and flashbacks to sci-fi horror movies.